


The 50th Anniversary Woes of Stuart Bloom

by TheNomad



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 18:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNomad/pseuds/TheNomad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuart and Raj attend the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary screening and a situation occurs. Mostly crack and possibly OOC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 50th Anniversary Woes of Stuart Bloom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DracoAries](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoAries/gifts), [notalwaysweak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/gifts).



If “curious” could be a synonym for “awkward”, “tense” and “hard to go through”, then, Stuart Bloom thought, the last few days have been indeed curious. So curious he’d had enough for a lifetime.

Curse, curse, curse upon the 23rd of November 2013.

He and Raj made a decision to join the local Whovian community in the closest cinema for the live broadcast of “The Day of the Doctor”, ignoring the rest of a gang that chose to stay in front of their TV sets. Nothing really gave away that the night would end like this; the guys walked in, bought themselves some snacks from the cinema bar, even had a chat with some of their fellow fanfolk. Many applauded his 4th Doctor gear, which, despite of a vicious little monster living at the back of his consciousness telling him they do it just because they feel sorry for him, gave Stuart a warm, pleasant feeling and he couldn’t help but smile. He knew though that his clothes were still relatively common, in contrary to Raj’s, who already for some time has been making promises about cosplaying Leela for this glorious occasion.

Needless to say, he kept the oath. And boy, it couldn’t be described in any other word but simply fabulous. Reactions of the people in the cinema were often quite loud and extremely enthusiastic, which wasn’t that obvious, considering amount of times Rajesh showed his absolute nonchalance for gender norms in public. Well, it turned out that the anticipation for the 50th anniversary special made everyone a little bit more accepting of unusual matches of the cosplayer and the character.

So no, nobody really seen it coming.

The slight bitterness Stuart and Raj felt about no Classic Who Doctors supposed to be present in the episode proved to have no impact on them enjoying it. And still, no sign whatsoever of a dramatic turn the events would take later. Sure, Raj took his hand unexpectedly when the Bad Wolf/Rose showed up and they shared a gasp in a few moments, including the Thirteen Doctors and introduction of Peter Capaldi and his distinct eyebrows, but it wasn’t that unusual, was it?

And then Tom Baker happened.

Out of nowhere, Stuart’s beloved Doctor appeared on the screen to deliver the happy news of Gallifrey surviving and it was just a bit too much.

Was it the famous ‘artists’ eccentrity’ acting up or his long-deprived of human contact brain finally taking the chance and claiming what it thought was rightfully his, he didn’t know, but he knew the outcome of whatever force’s intervention in that moment. In the most unexpected and quite a scandalous(for him) fashion, he turned to Raj, placed both hands on the sides of his face and dove in for a fierce kiss.

Four seconds was all it took for Stuart to come to his senses. And when he did, he backed off as suddenly as he leaned in earlier and glued his eyes into the screen again, trying to suppress the increasingly violent trembling of his hands and thanking the darkness in the room for covering the brick-red blush claiming his skin fast. He felt dizzy, his head was reeling slightly as if he’s been high, the string of profanities his consciousness screamed continuously getting louder and quieter and varyingly distorted as if coming from a broken radio.

After a while he got himself together just enough to start thinking of reducing the imminent awkwardness between them. Yes, it was stupid and unthoughtful, but for God’s sake, it can be blamed on the intense moment. They were both nerds, right? It would be cleared right after they left the cinema. Simple, clear, logical. Besides, who, if not Raj, would understand that?

The journey to the apartment was silent and, except for the “good night” exchange, neither of them talked to the other that night. And the “good” also turned out to be barely a wish; it was almost morning when Stuart finally drifted to sleep on the couch, freeing himself from unnerving, recurring thoughts of a cola and ginger aftertaste on his lips.

 

* * *

 

Even though the following day wasn’t that bad(read as: not as full of awkward pauses and glances as could have been), the matter of the kiss in the cinema remained unresolved and seemed to thicken the air whenever the two were in the same room. Watching the reruns of Firefly in the evening, Stuart and Raj chose to sit in the opposite ends of a couch. The second and third and a few other days continued in similar fashion, though the tension seemed to lessen gradually. None of them dared to tackle the subject, except once in a while it seemed as if Raj was about to say something, but always retreated after two seconds.

This morning, Stuart thought as he got himself off the couch and headed for the bathroom, was bound not to be any different.

Usual morning routine; a short shower, getting dressed, having coffee. Nothing special and nothing to interrupt… oh, but there was. He forgot to take the clothes from the couch where he left them the night before.

Cursing his inability to focus just a bit, Stuart wrapped the towel around his hips and walked into the living room to get the garments.

‘Hey, Stuart, care for some coffee?’

He jumped, hearing Raj’s voice in the kitchen annex.

“Jesus, man, don’t jus—“

When he turned to face him, he froze instead and the rest of the words died on his tongue, because for some ungodly reason Raj was practically prancing about the kitchen making them a beverage while being stark naked. Completely sauté.

_Maybe Sheldon was right about not changing the liquor store._

Raj turned to Stuart, trying to ask him about the amount of sugar and their eyes met over the counter.

It wasn’t as if he didn’t know what his friend looked like, after all he seen him countless times.

Countless times before the incident in the cinema, which now was proving to have unforeseen long-term consequences. For example, Stuart never saw Raj’s body as strictly aesthetically _pleasing to watch_. Not that there was anything wrong with it ever, but now there it was and Stu suddenly couldn’t understand how come he actually never saw all those curves and slight angles and a ridiculous thought about painting Raj struck him, though it would probably take years of careful paint-mixing until he got the colours of his skin, hair and eyes right, because it was obvious that he wouldn’t be satisfied until perfection and with portraying Raj he wouldn’t set for nothing less than that…

A slight swoosh and an unpleasant cold have broken the slight trance Stu found himself in. Disoriented, he glanced down and made a horrifying discovery.

Discovery which had everything to do with a towel now pooling at his ankles.

‘Oh shit’, he mumbled, wrapping the towel back at its place, quickly recovering the clothes he came for in the first place and muttering an apology, he shot out of the kitchen, feeling himself getting more and more red.

 

* * *

 

Rajesh Koothrappali’s concern for his friend grew by the day, starting from the second they shared a kiss in the cinema, which, in his opinion, was equally unexpected, abrupt and nice – extremely. The following days proved to be disappointing in regards to resolving the matter of it. Ever since the slightly unfortunate exchange at the comic book shop involving the musings about a possible perfect relationship and a certain little black dress Raj decided to retreat in his future advances. By the time they lived under one roof he’s grown fond of Stuart, even more than he suspected he would. And ever since this talk he would curse himself for(“Piledrive? You've read the Kamasutra and you choose to use the word “piledrive”?!”), he would find himself wondering how to suggest the change in the nature of their relationship to Stu in a slightly less awkward way. And then 23rd of November came along and, after the shock went down a bit, Raj was convinced that in that case, the problem solved itself.

The universe proved him wrong once again and forced Rajesh to endure the tenseness for the next few days. In the end he decided to do something with a small stash of alcohol purchased in a new alcohol shop(Sheldon wouldn’t shut up about the “dangers of buying spirit from an unverified vendor”). The whiskey gave him no answers, and didn’t wear off until next morning. Neglecting dressing himself up, Raj went straight for the kitchen, planning to make some coffee and drink as much water as he possibly could.

And now he watched his friend scurry away into the bathroom after the mentioned friend stared at him for an extended period of time. And HOW he stared… as if he’d seen God himself descending from Heaven and giving him million dollars. And then his towel slipped.

Raj looked at the place where Stuart disappeared for a while longer to finally shrug and go back to making coffee, while muttering under his breath:

“So _that’s_ what he meant about that extraordinarily long testicle…”


End file.
